she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
