If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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