i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
