yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
