We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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