just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You're like the curious george of whores
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
