Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
