38 yer olds are good kisserssss
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
