im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
