They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
