i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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