Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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