1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
