There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
