If i come over, it means nothing
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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