before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
