My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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