Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
