I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
