yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
