I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
