I cockslap morals
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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