i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
