He is such a slut. More and more my type.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
