im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
