it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
