so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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