I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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