You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
