his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
