I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
