He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
