He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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