Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
