I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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