my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
