i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
