He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
