Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
