Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
