Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
