should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
