i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
