i barfeds in our rink
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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