After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
