9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
