He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
