Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
