STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
