was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
