just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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