I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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