you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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