you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
